Active Gratitude: Training the Black Belt Mindset at Home

Category: Mindset / Personal Development Read Time: 3 Minutes

As we head into Thanksgiving, the theme of "giving thanks" is everywhere. However, I want to share a principle with our students and families that is essential not just for the holiday season, but for building a strong, happy life: Active Gratitude.

We often hear that gratitude is the quickest path to happiness. But let’s be honest, it isn't always automatic.

The "Negative Bias" Trap

Depending on your personality or how stressful your week has been, your brain might be wired to spot problems rather than blessings.

In our daily lives, this is easy to do.

• Juniors: You might focus on the one hard math problem, the chores you have to do, or the move you couldn't get right in class.

• Parents: You might focus on the traffic, the messy living room, or the busy schedule.

Because we are always trying to fix things and improve, it is very easy to get stuck in "critical" gear. If we aren't careful, we begin to see the world only through the lens of what is wrong or missing.

Gratitude is a Skill Set

We teach our students that confidence and discipline are muscles—you have to exercise them. Gratitude is exactly the same.

We have to stop treating gratitude like a feeling that just happens to us, and start treating it like a skill set.

Just like a side kick or a kata, it must be practiced daily until it becomes a habit. It requires repetitions. When we stop practicing it, we naturally slide backward into complaining or taking things for granted.

The Challenge: Be the Thermostat

This Thanksgiving, and moving forward, here is the challenge for our students and families:

Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

A thermometer simply reflects the temperature of the room; it reacts to the environment. If it's a stressful day, the thermometer goes up.

A thermostat sets the temperature. Don't just wait to feel happy or grateful; proactively voice it. Set the tone for your dinner table and your home.

Here is how to apply Active Gratitude this week:

• For Junior Students: Thank your "taxi driver." It takes a lot of time and love for parents to drive you to school, sports, and the dojo. Make sure they know you appreciate the ride.

• For Parents: Catch your child doing something right. Instead of just correcting behavior, validate their effort when they do something helpful without being asked.

• For Everyone: Focus on what you have, not what you lack.

The Shift

When you shift your focus, your energy changes. And whether you are a parent leading a family, or a student stepping onto the mats, your energy is contagious.

Happy Thanksgiving to our Team Feidt family. Let’s finish the year strong!

Here are some of our Podcasts on Gratitude. Enjoy!