What is Bullying and why do people do it?
Bullying is when someone tries to deliberately hurt other people with words or actions.
Bullying is intentional AND repetitive behavior.
People who bully try to take other people’s power from them. They are trying to fit in and feel that bullying will make them feel like more, by making others feel like less.
Then they use this power to try to harm others by:
• Public humiliation
• Spreading rumors
• Tripping or pushing
What should you do when you see Bullying?
It’s not easy to take a stand against bullying. It takes a lot of courage. However, there is always something we can do when we see others being bullied. We should try to be an Upstander instead of a Bystander. An Upstander takes action against bullying. A Bystander does nothing. Here are some ways that we can be an Upstander:
1. Get There First - Sometimes we can see things before they happen. When this happens, you get the target to go with us before the bully can get there.
2. Step in and Take Charge - If you see someone being bullied, you can “Step In and Take Charge”. You can walk up to a bully and say, “You are bullying by name-calling. Please stop it right now. It’s not very nice and nobody likes it.”
3. Distract and Redirect - If you are not comfortable confronting the bully, you can “Distract and Redirect”. You could walk up to a bully, pretend that you don’t notice what is going on and say, “hi, that is a cool shirt.” Then start to walk off with the other person and say "I have something I want to show you.”
4. Leave and Report - If you are not comfortable confronting OR interrupting the bully, you can “Leave and Report”. If you see a bully calling someone names in front of a crowd, you can leave the scene and report it to someone who has the authority to do something about it.
Reporting is NOT tattling. Reporting is letting someone who can help know that you (or another person) are being treated in a disrespectful manner. Reaching out for help will take the bully’s power away.
Want more information?
We recommend dealing with bullying by using “The Five Rules of Personal Safety.”
• Use Your Mind• Use Your Words• Use Your Legs• Ask for help• Defend yourself
Rule 1 - Use Your Mind – This means thinking about all of the things that you can do to stay safe. It means to create safe habits and avoid bullies. The idea is to always try to use your mind to stay away from trouble. When it comes to bullying, the easiest way to avoid being bullied is to stop it before it ever begins. You can do this by being aware of your surroundings and avoid contact with bullies whenever possible. You are NOT a chicken when you avoid a bully. You are actually smart for doing so.
Rule 2 – Use Your Words - If you ever find yourself being bullied you can often times use your words to talk your way out of trouble. Say “C.A.L.M.”, which stands for:
• Cool down - You can cool down by taking some deep breaths.
• Assert yourself - You can assert yourself by speaking up in a strong and confident voice.
• Look the bully in the eye - You can say “stop picking on me now.”
• Mean it – You can tell the person “I want you to leave me alone now”
Rule 3 – Use Your Legs - If you are unable to talk yourself out of the situation, you can try to ignore it and walk away if you can. Just pretend the bully is invisible and try to look completely unfazed. Or, you can look at something else as you are walking away. When your words aren’t working and you are feeling really unsafe, you should run if you are confronted by someone who you don’t know and will probably never see again. In this case, running away and getting to safety is a great choice.
Rule 4 – Ask For Help - It is always good when you can handle your own problems, but it is perfectly OK to get help if you need it. Let’s say you have tried ignoring the bully and to stand up for yourself, but nothing is working. You are NOT tattling if you ask for help. Tattling is when your motive is to get someone else in trouble. Reporting is when you let someone who can help you know that you (or another person) are being treated in a disrespectful manner. Your safety is important to your parents and teachers, so don’t be afraid to tell them what is going on. Most kids don’t want to be a tattletale. They are afraid that if they tell a parent or teacher about a bully or troublemaker, other kids will make fun of them. Asking for help in advance is the perfect solution. Ask to meet with your teacher or yard duty attendant at a time when other kids can’t see you. Ask if they can keep an eye out for you and the bully during recess. If they help you, they will do so because they saw what happened.
Rule 5 – Defend Yourself – This is last on the list because we want you to try everything else first. You should try to avoid a physical confrontation if at all possible and only defend yourself as a last resort. At the same time, it is important to remember that no one has the right to harm you.
REASONS YOUR CHILD NEEDS MARTIAL ARTS:
1) Martial Arts Training Builds Confidence:
By learning how to protect themselves, your children will develop confidence in their ability to handle life’s challenges. In turn, their improved confidence will give them the courage to say “no” to negative influences.
2) Martial Arts Training Increases Focus:
We will help your child improve their focus by giving them clear goals and showing them how to reach those goals through hard work and consistency. (Of course, they won’t realize they’re learning focus because our classes are so much fun! But keep that to yourself – it’ll be our little secret!)
3) Martial Arts Training Develops Self-Control:
Kids learn self-control in the martial arts by learning how important it is to have respect, both for themselves and for others. Martial arts training teaches that in order to get respect, you first have to give it. Once your child learns this important lesson, their self-control will naturally increase.
4) Martial Arts Training Instills Discipline:
Discipline is “doing what you must do, when you have to do it, whether you feel like it or not.” Discipline is desperately needed in all areas of life at all ages, from grade school student to adult. The demanding exercises of martial arts training will give your child a vehicle to develop this crucial life skill.
5) Martial Arts Training Cultivates Courage:
Life can be difficult, and is quite a struggle at times. The person who is used to overcoming obstacles and has acquired the habit of facing challenges is the one who is more likely to succeed. This is why it is so important to develop that habit of courage early on, so that later in life a person will more easily face those difficulties with a positive outlook and a self-assurance that they can indeed be overcome. Our martial arts kids program provides young children with an excellent opportunity to safely learn how to face those fears and blast right through them.
“Since starting my training for Black Belt, my grades have risen quite a bit. My academic average was an 87 before I started, now it’s a 94. I think that it has rose due to the weekly wisdoms, and the mind-set that the training helped me develop. I also think training has helped me focus more, which helped me in many ways, including school.
I have also improved at my goal setting skills. Before training, I was one of those people who would set a goal, and then do nothing about it. I was a person who would expect it to happen, without effort. Now, I know that I need to work hard to achieve that goal, and that you get the best results when you put your best effort into it, and when you try your best.” – Ben, 7th Grader, Black Belt
Kids need strong role models who set a positive example for them to follow.